Today I had a plan. I was going to donate blood. I've never donated blood. I've never had the desire to donate blood. So why do it today? Because I could get a free technical shirt for my generosity. That's right. I require some sort of compensation (other than cookies and juice) for the gift of my blood. And a technical shirt is quite a prize, let me tell you. It's no regular t-shirt. It wicks. I need this sort of thing in my wardrobe because I'm a runner, you know. Runners wear technical shirts. They don't wear the random promotional t-shirts (that were also free) that I like to sport on the track. They're fancy. And as soon as I gave blood, I was going to be part of the club.
I've been thinking about this blood donation for a week now. I actually wanted to chicken out, but I stayed strong. Last night I really wanted a beer or some wine, but I couldn't. I did not drink because I was donating blood...because I wanted a free shirt valued at $26.
So, today I finished up my work and headed over to Oakland. Even though I've been to College Ave MANY times, I still get lost trying to find it. After wandering through the neighborhood, I finally spotted the blood drive, and I went into the sponsor store to inquire about my donation. They directed me to the blood bus and reminded me to come back for me free shirt (like I'd forget, p-shaw!).
I knocked on the door, stepped into the bus, filled out my forms, and then it was time for the interview. Everything was going smoothly. I answered my questions very well. The nurse asked me if I had ever donated blood, and I told her it was my first time (which seems surprising to these people). She asked me if I donated blood with another program. Nope. She asked me if I donated blood several years ago. Nope. To convince her that it really was my first time EVER, I informed her that I'm not exactly giving when it comes to my blood. She laughed. The interview continued. There was a sketchy moment when we got to the deferred medications because I HAD taken something on the list when I was 15, and I actually voiced that that was 17 years ago and suddenly felt very old.
We continued...and then she got to the part where I've travelled outside of the US in the last 3 years...specifically to China last August. She looked through a couple binders and told me that today was not my day. Apparently, I'm a malaria risk. I didn't even tell her about the mystery bug bite that turned into a nasty black bruise and created a terribly itchy rash all over my leg. How could I be a malaria risk? Just because I was there in the rainy season when it was 100 degrees outside and felt like you wading through a pool of water just to walk a few feet. Come on!
Okay, so honestly, I was a little relieved. She told me that I'll be eligible again next September. Too bad I won't be eligible for that free shirt--or will I?
Feeling a bit mischievous (and perhaps a little entitled even though I didn't live up to my end of the bargain--by no fault of my own...well, sort of), I went back to the store and plotted my plan to walk away with a free shirt. My initial plan was to walk in, have the salesperson spot me, and graciously accept her offer for the shirt without explaining anything. Unfortunately for me, the people that were rejected right before me were in there explaining their tale of disappointment. Since they saw me in there, they knew I was a reject too. Plan A was out the window. My next plan was to just hang around, try on shoes, and somehow get a free shirt. Since one of the salespeople was giving blood, they were short-staffed. I wandered around until someone asked me if I needed help. I told her I needed shoes (which is true. I think if I run in my old shoes one more time my toes will turn black and fall off and both of my ankles will spontaneously break.), and she appeared very worried. Apparently, she needed to leave and was holding down the fort until her coworker came back from the blood drive. She apologized for my wait and somehow the fact that I tried to give blood came up. I don't know how. It was just the natural course of the conversation...or was it my plan? She asked me if I got a coupon for a shirt, and I said no. So, she handed me one and told me to keep it a secret. SUCCESS!
Of course, now I really did have to stick around and buy a new pair of shoes. The blood donor came in, and I felt pretty guilty about my evil plan to walk away with a free shirt as my parting gift for not actually doing anything. We zipped through the shoe purchase process (which was pretty amazing. Last time I bought running shoes from them, it took 4 visits before I was satisfied). She asked me if I needed to buy anything else. I told her I probably did, but not today. She apologized for the long wait (which made me feel bad again since I was only hanging around for a free shirt).
Once I selected my snazzy new running shoes (that happened to be on sale), I went to the register. My generous salesperson told me that if I donated blood I could get a shirt. Knowing that I couldn't just give her the coupon, I explained that I actually came there with the express purpose of donating blood, but that I was denied. She then told me that she'd let me have a shirt anyway. So, I walked out with a new pair of shoes AND a new shirt....and a coupon for another one.
We'll see how evil I am later this weekend.
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