For The Record...

I'm totally fed up.  After Howard blabbed my secret password to the world, I went to Phonies website to change it, and I discovered that my bill was...exorbitant!  Upon looking at the actual charges, I discovered that not only did they over-charge me for the phone, they also charged me for all the "freebies" they promised.

Outraged, I called their customer service line (for the second time in a day), took my rage out on the voice-activated operator and sat on the phone with four different people trying to get it sorted.  The first girl was nice enough, but she told me that she wasn't going to be able to give me the price that I was promised because she talked to her supervisor.  I then told her I wanted to talk to her supervisor.  That woman immediately tried to "de-escalate" the situation, which only irritated me more.  I know what they're doing when they act as though they understand and are sincerely sorry.  She still wasn't going to honor the price I was quoted when I purchased the phone and insisted that she didn't think I was lying (as I may have announced to her that I am NOT a liar).  That conversation ended when I told her I wanted to return the phone and cancel the service.

While on hold, I started to panic a little because my phone isn't with me.  IT guy has it tucked away in his desk drawer.  I hadn't planned beyond this moment, so I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do.  Part of me wanted to chicken out, but the other part just wanted to say "F- it!"

Then, smooth-talking Tyrell got on the phone.  I told him I wanted to send back my phone, and he took my account information.  Then, he said, "While I wait for this to load up, I just want to take this time to say Happy Valentine's Day."  I laughed.  Who wouldn't? It was funny.  I also held back on making some smart-ass remark about living in the sewer and only coming to the surface under cover of darkness.  I didn't want to give him any material to woo me.  I was on a gd mission.  Our love affair was brief.  Once my account was up on his computer, I went through my spiel, and he connected me to someone else.

A fast talking spitfire from New Jersey was now on the line.  She asked me what was wrong, and all I could do was laugh.  Seriously?  They don't know by now?  I told her my beef.  She attempted to relate to me and tried to calm me down.  She gave me the price I wanted on the phone (But I'm still not convinced.  They won't give me a revised bill, so I can see that all the erroneous charges were cancelled.  Also, the amount doesn't add up to what I think it should be).  She related to me on the blackberry connectivity woes, and attempted to give me advice on what to do.  Much like Howard, she seemed to think my IT guy didn't know what he was doing.  Little do they know that IT Guy's ONLY job is to set up blackberry service.  He does this 5 days a week for a multi-national corporation.  I think he has it under control.

Since I didn't have the blackberry in hand, I decided to let the cancellation drop (for now), and started nitpicking on the bill.  Fast-talker and I sparred for awhile to the point that I asked her if we suddenly found ourselves in a marriage.  We were arguing like an old married couple.  Oh, we laughed.  Finally, I got her to see my point of view...and then my f-ing work phone went silent (It's an IP phone, so every now and then it just stops working for no reason in particular.  I've noticed that it goes silent every day in the 3 o'clock hour).  Needless to say, she hung up.

I was PISSED.  PISSED!

Knowing that there was nothing I could do (and that I was totally phone-less at this point), I left the house and told my story of woe to my most avid readers.  And now I'm writing it (in much shorter detail).

IT Guy said he was sending back the blackberry today, so I'd get it today.  But, I think I'll get it on Monday (unless he opted for Saturday delivery).  Come Monday, I'm raising all hell with Phonies.  I'm getting out of the contract.  I'm not married to these bastards.  Ten years, schmen years.  Who f-ing cares!

I'm not backing down.  I've been coached.  No backing down!  I'm not a satisfied customer.  I want out, and I'm not paying their bogus cancellation fee.  I've paid them enough coin in my time.

Blech.