I Want My Mommy!

I'm a crybaby. Wah!

Ouch. Today I went on the most challenging bike ride of my life (and quite possibly the longest at 36 miles). It's been three years since using my bike for anything other than an art piece in the corner of my living room, and I really should have eased myself into it a little more. Yeesh!

So, as I've mentioned, I'm training for a triathlon. By training, I mean that I've signed up for two olympic distance events and a training program. Since the beginning of the training program, I have worked out approximately 4 1/2 times (the 1/2 because I spent a questionable 20 minutes on an exercise bike the other day). Admittedly, I was a little concerned about the bike ride (which may explain why I missed the first scheduled ride two weeks ago...well, that and the fact that I had a combo food/wine hangover), but I was determined. I was told that we were riding if the rain was light. And, it was. I got to the meeting point, and it wasn't so bad. I pulled out my bike and dressed in the appropriate clothing; however, I did choose to keep my cotton pants on instead of relying solely on my PHAT bike shorts (which was a decision I deeply regretted in the last half hour of my ride). Only 5 other people showed up for this ride (and, as I was told later while climbing a never-ending hill, those folks, with one exception, are the hard-core cyclists). The coach was friendly and encouraging as usual. We started the ride, and I couldn't remember how to change my gears. Luckily, the coach gave me a quick refresher course. We rode over the Golden Gate Bridge, and I was feeling it. We rode down to Sausalito, and I was fearful of flying off the bike. We rode on the bike path to Mill Valley--still hanging in there. Then, we climbed a ridiculous hill on our way to Fairfax. I was doing really well. 

After 18 miles of doing a decent job of sticking with the group, we stopped at a coffee shop. I won't lie, I was starving. Unfortunately for me, food was not in the cards for me (though it really should have been). Once our coffee break was over, we got back on our bikes and headed back. The storm also started kicking into high gear. I was a little tired (and started realizing how cold I was since my clothes were soaked because I can't be bothered to get a waterproof raincoat). Everything was going fine until we started climbing back over that monster hill. I was dying, but I didn't stop. The coach doubled back a couple times to check on me (because I was far and away the slowest person in the group). We finally conquered the hill and started the descent, along with the rain. It was raining so hard that I couldn't keep my eyes open consistently. It was terrible. 

Finally back in Mill Valley, I was feeling good and hopeful. I told the coach that I was tough. Looking back, that was the beginning of my downfall. I was totally exhausted because of the physical activity and because I was starving. The coach gave me some goo and gatorade, and that totally made a difference. We were entering Sausalito when catastrophe struck. I fell off my bike in front of a bunch of cars and other bikers. It was only the second time I've ever fallen off of my bike (the first being the first time I ever got on it...oh, and I guess I did fall off the bike at the bike shop when they were adjusting it and I flew off the trainer, so technically it's the third time), and the circumstances were almost identical. We came to an intersection, so I clicked out of my pedal on the left side, but started leaning to the right side. So, I fell over in the middle of the street. The fall hurt, but not too bad. The bad part was that I messed up my gears. The coach adjusted them temporarily, and I kept going, but the gears kept slipping. I was also getting tired and frustrated (which is never a good combination), so I REALLY wanted to just stop. But, doggonit, I'm tenacious! We rode through Sausalito, and my gears were making me irate. Then, we got to the base of the final hill (that is a monster if you're not familiar with it) leading back to the bridge. I was tired, but I was almost there. As we started up, I switched my gears and tragedy struck. My chain slipped off. The coach was now out of sight, so I stopped to fix it. Luckily, another biker stopped to help me. I got back on my way, cursing my pedals (because I was having a helluva time clipping in). The gear shift was wonky, and my knee started bugging me. Now, when I say bugging me, I don't mean it was slightly annoying or bothersome. It f-ing hurt every time I put pressure on it (which was constantly since I was furiously pedaling up a killer hill). 

Let me tell you, the sky wasn't the only one crying at that point. I started bawling because I was so frustrated. Even though I knew better, I got off my bike and started walking. I felt like such an idiot, but I couldn't stop crying. I mean, come on, I was tired, hungry, wet (oh, and those cotton pants were totally soaked and heavy at this point), angry, and in a bit of pain. Three girls stopped to see if I needed help. I told them I was fine (even though I choked it out through my uncontrollable tears). It went like this:

Girl: Are you okay? 

Me: *sob* Yeah, I'm fine.

Girl: Did you fall off your bike?

Me: *sob* Yeah...

Girl: Is your bike messed up?

Me: Kind of. *sob* But I fell about a half an hour ago, so it's nothing new. *sob*

Girl: Hmmm...we can try to fix your gears.

Me: No. *sob* It's fine.

Girl: Do you want to use my phone?

Me: *sob* I don't know who to call.

Girl: Do you need food? (and I should mention that the guy who helped me with my chain offered me food, so I must have looked some kind of awful)

Me: No.

Girl: When did you eat last?

Me: 10 minutes ago.

Girl: Okay. You're almost to the bridge.

Me: *sob* Okay.

Girl: I think you'll be okay. The only thing that's broken is your spirit.

Me: *sob* I know.

Girl: You know, it will go faster if you get back on the bike.

Me: *sob* Yeah. I'll just walk for a little bit.

And they were off, wishing me luck. I continued on my walk of shame (which was also difficult since I was wearing shoes with a piece of metal on the bottom, making it difficult to walk at any rate of speed), and then, after about 20 feet, I got back on the bike. Thirty seconds later, the coach came back and led me over the bridge. While we were on the bridge, the girls passed me and cheered because I was back on the bike. It was still pouring and it was uncomfortably windy. 

We finally made it back to the cars, and I was ecstatic. I put the bike in my car, took my pants off, as well as my socks and shoes, and felt nothing but relief. The coach came over and gave me a hug. He apologized for the ride, but it really wasn't his fault (unless he has a red phone that controls the weather). I told him that I always make it through and apologized for being so slow. I also mentioned that my spirit was a little broken toward the end. Apparently, he was totally unaware of my breakdown (even though I thought the girl mentioned it when she passed him on the bridge). He said, "No way. You smiled and laughed through the whole thing. You're a trooper." Laughter through the tears, people. That's my way...along with a few curse words peppered in just for effect.

I then got in my car and turned the heat on. I've never been happier to turn on all of my heaters and take a shower. Nor have I ever been happier to lay on my couch and watch my favorite presenter on Gems TV.

We'll see how this training thing goes. I'm starting to have my doubts because I'm WAY out of shape. The coach's girlfriend suggested an "easy" Half IronMan race, but that was when we climbed the first hill. She may take those words back now (and I already know better because an olympic distance race is pushing it--in case you are unaware of the feats I'll perform: 1 mile swim, 25 mile bike ride, 6 mile run, and a Half Ironman is twice that).

Another rider told me that if I showed up for this ride, then I have no good excuses for missing any other rides. Again, that was before I hit the wall. I think I might get demoted to riding around the track on a banana seat Schwinn. Maybe I can get a basket and a horn, too.

Ow.