Airport Chili's: Servin' Up Heartbreak With a Side of Queso

So, I found myself at the airport Chili's yesterday, and I had plenty of time to kick back and relax with a top shelf margarita and basket of chips.  The only thing I didn't have was good reading material to help the time go by and prevent me from staring into space (or worse, staring in the direction of an amorous bus boy--and don't think I haven't found myself in that awkward situation at a chain restaurant before 'cuz I have a rose fashioned out of a paper napkin to prove it).  Lucky for me, drama was brewing just a few feet away.  As I settled in and chose my snacks, I noticed the girl sitting in the booth next to me politely sitting over her chips and salsa.  After a few minutes, her boyfriend returned from the restroom, and she decided that it was time they had a little talk.  Now, I didn't get everything  because I didn't want to be obviously rude, and I felt that moving seats to get a better listen would give me away immediately.  So, I struggled to focus my listening across the table and pretended to read the sports section of the newspaper that someone kindly/inadvertantly left for me.

Apparently, the couple was on their way home from their Thanksgiving festivities, and the girl simply couldn't wait another minute to air her grievances.  She started by telling her beau that when they started dating, she noticed some qualities that were less than desirable, but truly felt he would change.  Unfortunately for him, he didn't use his time in their relationship to grow and mature at the rate she expected, so she was starting to think they were headed down a dead end.  He piped up a little bit to express his disagreement, but she was certain that they were simply in different places.  As the conversation wore on, she let him know that she was at a point in life where she was ready to settle down, but he was far too interested in partying to do such a thing.  It was at this point that I felt compelled to decipher their general age range, and from what I can figure, they were, at most, 21 years old.  Though, I suspect they hadn't actually reached legal drinking age (And if I may step in here real quick, can I just ask what person under 23 is truly ready to "settle down".  Seriously.).  As he tried to defend himself, she told him that she knows plenty of friends in sororities that run into trouble with their frat boy beaus, and she just wasn't willing to go down that path (As you can tell, her wisdom knows no bounds).  Their meal ended in silence, and they got up to catch their plane.  She left with a sympathetic smile, and he just looked downright confused.

And that's when I started pondering the question (okay, so I pondered several questions including how it is that I managed to devour my entire basket of chips, while they left most of theirs at the table--and yes, the answer that I may, in fact, be a disgusting pig DID cross my mind), is the airport Chili's really the best place to break up with someone?  In general, I think public break-ups are in bad taste as they put the breakee in an unfortunate and vulnerable position (especially since restaurant break-ups are usually surprise attacks).  What makes this particular location even more curious is the fact that it's at an airport, thus indicating the two people are getting on a plane together.  Now, it's entirely possible they were getting on separate planes, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they were on the same flight.  And, really?  Can we just say...awkward?  I mean, what was the thinking behind having the "talk" at the airport prior to lift-off?  Had she hit the breaking point and couldn't continue the charade for another couple of hours?  Was it too much to wait until they got home, so they wouldn't have to endure each other's post-break-up presence sitting next to each other in the back of coach?  It just seems to me that she really didn't think this through...or she's just not a very nice person.  Or, he totally deserved it.  I don't know.  I was just eavesdropping after all.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon for Soccer Moms Everywhere

Just the other day I was driving back from Berkeley, and I saw a frightful sight.  Okay, so frightful might be a bit dramatic, but it was a little annoying.  Those magnetic ribbons have totally lost their initial intent and meaning (and this is coming from someone that was never fully on board with them in the first place).  Why, you ask?  Well, because I was driving behind a minivan with one of those magnetic ribbons.  The only thing that made it unlike all other magnetic ribbons (you know, "Support Our Troops", pink ribbons for breast cancer, red ribbons for AIDS, yellow ribbons for victims of tragedies like war or post office massacres and the like) was that it had soccer balls all over it and said "SOCCER MOM".  That's right, people, soccer moms need a ribbon too, because, without it, I would never have guessed that the person driving a Dodge caravan full of kids and baby seats might, in fact, be a mother.  My first guess is usually exterminator or carpet cleaner. (And, yes, I do realize that my rant makes me seem bitter, childless, and alone...but really, I'm quite happy-go-lucky).  Admittedly, I saw this coming.  From the second the "Support Our Troops" magnetic ribbons came into vogue, I knew bumper stickers were headed down yet another annoying path.  This one screamed of nostalgia for the "Baby on Board" signs that took over the roadways several years ago.  It's totally ridiculous.  And, I realize that I'm being a total hypocrite because I laughed at the "God Bless Matador" ribbons, but still!  I'm just annoyed.  They went from a sign of remembrance, to political statement, to trite declaration of suburban motherhood.  Stop the madness people.  Just say no to annoying bumper sticker statements (unless of course it will make me laugh while I sit behind you in traffic for an hour or so).  As much as I hate to admit it, I'd welcome a "Whirled Peas" bumper sticker...or maybe I've gone too far.