Kids Today...

They just can't spell. I don't know what's going on in our educational system, but something is terribly awry. Is text-messaging making future generations terrible spellers with no regard for good grammar? Seriously! I'm not going to claim to be perfect, but I have a solid appreciation for my native language. When I write emails I actually think out the punctuation. To this day, I believe that I was robbed of my spot in the school-wide spelling bee in the 3rd grade. For that matter, the only thing that made me cool in the 4th grade was my ability to spell. We moved to a snobby suburb, and I had a terrible time making friends. My only saving grace was the fact that I could beat the reigning spelling champion, Tommy, in the weekly spelling bee. So, naturally, the team captains all wanted me on their team because prior to my arrival on the scene, no one could beat Tommy. If I can do one thing, it's spell. (In fact, I wouldn't mind competing in an adult spelling bee, so if you know of any, let me know.) The first time I prevailed was on the word, "Doughnut". Tommy and I went through a series of tie-breakers, and neither of us was going to back down. Then, Mrs. Twining gave Tommy the word. We were standing on opposite sides of the room, and I knew deep in my soul that Tommy was going to think of the "Daylight Donuts" sign. Sure enough, he did. I knew I had it. The class was shocked and horrified when the untouchable spelling champion failed to deliver. They were equally elated when I won. I believe (and this could just be my memory playing tricks on me) that there were some cheers. That may have been my most popular moment in school. How I lived for the Friday spelling bee! Any other day involved Susan and her bully friends stealing gum from my purse and referring to me as "gross". That, or having a popular boy ask me if I wanted to "go out", just to have all of his friends jump from around the corner and taunt me saying, "NERD. Nobody would want to go out with you." 

Yeah, my youth was nothing short of awesome, but that's not the point of this. I want to address the misuse of the words, me, myself, and I. People are ALWAYS confusing "me" and "I", as well as throwing "myself" around like a bag of rice on someone's wedding day. I believe that the "me" and "I" confusion stems from fear. Remember as a kid when you used "me" all the time, and your mom would correct you, prompting you to use "I" instead? Was that just me? I don't think so. Kids ALWAYS use "me" over "I". On the whole, "I" is usually the correct choice. However, "me" should be used as the object of sentence. 

EXAMPLE: If you have questions, call Johnny or me.

My example is correct; however, I'm constantly getting emails that say "call Johnny or I". That just makes you look dumb. You wouldn't say "Call I". That doesn't make sense at all. However, when you add someone else to the mix, people freak out and throw in an "I". It's so simple to check your grammar, so there's no reason to let this sort of thing slide.

My example goes terribly awry when people inexplicably use "myself" instead of "me". I've noticed this more in the last five years, and it drives me batty. Using the word, "myself" does not make you sound smarter. When used incorrectly, it is just plain annoying. There are very few instances when you actually get to use the word, "myself" (and perhaps people like the word and want the opportunity to use it more frequently, but I'm here to tell you that when you use it incorrectly, you just sound like a fraud). The word "myself" can only be used when you are referring back to yourself (see how "you" and "yourself" go together?). Let's go back to my example: "If you have any questions, call Johnny or me." If you insert "myself" (which far too many people do), the sentence structure is blown to hell. Don't do it. If you want to use the word, "myself" more often, then I recommend saying more of the following:

"I'm going to battle the dragon myself."

"I fed the penguins all by myself"

See how it works? Grammar is good for everyone. Use it wisely.

And if you want to join the grammar club, go to this website: http://spogg.org

I don't know why I went off on this tangent, but I did. I declare war on poorly-written emails masquerading as intelligent missives!

And yes, I know I make mistakes too. I'm not perfect either.