Yep, Phonies is STILL the bane of my existence. Ready for the update? Where to begin? Last week, I received the return envelope from Phonies, so I sent back blackberry deux. I diligently tracked the shipment and saw that it was delivered to their warehouse on Thursday. Upon making that discovery, I called Phonies to inquire about my credit.
Unfortunately for me, their phone system hung up on me every time I called. Under normal circumstances, I'd just think they were having technical problems; however, considering the fact that I call them almost every day, I suspect they blackballed me. On Friday, I attempted to call again. The phone system still wouldn't let my call go through. Just so we are clear, it hung up on me after I entered my number and asked the computer voice to transfer me to a representative. Suspicious, no?
At this point, I decided to log onto Phonie's website. While there, I saw that they had a web chat function with customer service. Feeling that I had nothing to lose, I had a nice chat with Beverly who informed me that I wouldn't get the credit for 1-2 billing cycles. After telling her that this was totally unacceptable and demanding that I not be held responsible for the price of the phone that I no longer have in my possession, she seemed baffled. Apparently, waiting two billing cycles for a couple hundred dollars seems perfectly reasonable to her. She actually thought I'd be happy to have a big credit on my account. I explained to her that I want a check for the amount, rather than a credit. Baffled, she typed, "I don't understand. Are you canceling your service?"
Do they really need to ask? After going back and forth with her on the subject (throwing in my opinion on how unethical they are regarding their outright refusal to send me an adjusted bill, so I know what the charges actually are), she agreed to put the amount in question in "dispute". That means, I am not responsible for paying for that amount (since she wasn't keen on cutting me a check, and I have no desire to pay them money I don't owe them, this was a decent solution). I thanked her for her help, and logged onto the computer.
While on there, I canceled the automatic bill-pay from my checking account, paid the balance not in dispute with my credit card, and felt like I was making slight progress. Monday rolled around, and I decided that I didn't entirely trust Beverly. Who would? She works for Phonies. They're a bunch of dirty liars. So I attempted to call their customer service line, and this time I got through. A fellow of African American heritage answered. I explained to him that I wanted to make sure that the cost of the phone was in dispute. He hemmed and hawed, telling me that he had no way of knowing that information, leading me to wonder what kind of computer system they are using that it doesn't allow customer service agents to actually see what's happening on a person's account. I also asked him if he could confirm that the phone arrived in the warehouse. That was also impossible. Since I was on a roll with the impossible requests, I figured I might as well tackle the old "I want a revised bill" request as well. This time I took a different tact, and asked him to read me everything on the bill. Misunderstanding my request, he informed me of my plan. I then asked him to read the actual charges on my bill, and he started reading the bill I already have. Then, he told me that I did have an amount on my account in dispute, AND he mentioned that my phone arrived back in the warehouse and was processed as a return. How this information just randomly popped up is beyond me. I attempted to question it, but decided to drop it. Instead, I chose to stick to getting a revised bill. He told me that he had no access to that information, but insisted that if I go into a store, they could pull a report for me.
In my frustration (and I forget exactly when during the conversation), I said something that I immediately regretted. What's that? Oh, nothing big. I just said something to the effect of "You people keep screwing me over." Yeah, so, when I used the phrase, "You people", I really was talking about the company; however, I immediately realized that that phrase may have sounded more like a racial slur...in which case, I wanted off the phone immediately.
Now, as you may recall, last time I went to the store, they told me that they couldn't give me any information about billing and directed me to the phone people. I knew it was a long-shot, but it was worth a try regardless. Wednesday morning rolled around, and I checked the website to see if my account was credited (just because I'm a dreamer). To my surprise, there was a zero balance. When I investigated further, I discovered that Phonies took the disputed amount out of my checking account. Now if you'll recall, five days earlier, I cancelled the direct payment function. What does that mean? They stole my f-ing money!
That night I was ready to rumble. I walked into a Phonies store and asked them for a revised bill. The girl behind the computer tappity-tapped away at the keyboard and pulled up my original bill. As she was doing this, the store manager was on his way out. I explained to her that I did not want that bill because I already had that bill. I wanted to know what the adjustments were. She stared at me blankly. For whatever reason, I gestured wildly as I explained a customer's right to information about their account. At this point, the manager returned (probably because my hands were flailing around in such a way that it may have appeared that I was on the verge of physical violence...and, in a very unsubtle attempt at using subliminal messages, I kept referring to Phonies as dirty liars under my breath in the middle of every sentence. The girl showed me the screen and told me that she didn't have access to any of my account information. My only response was, "So you're all a bunch of dirty liars. Fine. Thanks." I then walked out and said something to the effect of "F-ing dirty liars."
And that brings us to today. Tonight I called over to my friends at Phonies after logging onto my account just to find that it wouldn't display any information (making me once again suspect that they are purposely trying to keep information from me). A lovely woman in Charlotte, North Carolina answered. She spent a good 10 minutes reading the notes on my account. I can only imagine what it says about me, and, quite frankly, I'm shocked that they don't automatically send me to a supervisor. Once she finished reading about what a pain in the ass I am, I explained my dilemma about the money that was taken from my bank account without my permission, and she agreed that they shouldn't have done that. She, however, informed me that she couldn't help me. So I was transferred to the finance department.
Once I was connected to the finance department, they told me that they have no control over my billing information and had to transfer me back to the customer service department. Seeing that they were just trying to wear me down, I insisted that the poor girl, who answered the question "How are you?" with "extremely wonderful", listen to my tale of woe. She didn't help, but was certainly sympathetic. She also told me that I could get a check rather than a credit. Now that's progress!
I'm sure I'll call again in a couple of days. My new bill comes in a couple of days, so I'm anxious to see what dirty lies are on that one.
Stupid, dirty liars.
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