Why I Hate Facebook: Reason 5647

Alright, I'll admit it, I'm an old fogie. I am not a fan of the social networking (and yes, I see the irony in the fact that I am writing this on Myspace). Seriously, though, I just don't get it. I am not interested in collecting online friends. I have no desire to put my whole life out there for the world to see. Why else would I wear a gorilla suit?

I started this business out of boredom, and my entry into this world of social awkwardness still makes me squirm. It was bad enough when someone from high school found me on Facebook and identified me as a friend. I wrote her a note to say hello, you know, like you would for anyone that you haven't spoken to in 15 years that suddenly pops back into your life. Did she respond? No. But, months later, she apparently caught wind of the fact that I went out on the town with other people that she also went to high school with (and doesn't actually talk to) and sent me a public comment chiding me for not calling and inviting her. WE AREN'T FRIENDS! Just because you found me online and added me to your collection of pictures does not mean that I now I have to reach out to you when I'm in your area (not to mention the fact that I don't even know her phone number....AND WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN 15 YEARS!)

Wow, I thought I was over that one. Guess not.

So what's the affront this time? Well, it could be all of the people that apparently went to high school with me that keep trying to add me as a friend. Unfortunately, I have no idea who they are. It isn't that I have a bad memory. I know who I hung out with in school. So why can't I remember them? Well, I did graduate in a class of 900. Oh yeah, and because I don't know these people! Just because we are from the same hometown does not mean that I have any obligation to add them to my online friend list. I really don't know who these people are!

Oh, and don't get me started on the girl from Minnesota who shares my same name. Apparently we should be friends simply because we have the same name. I say nay!

None of these reasons, however great they are, are Reason 5647. Nope. Not a one of 'em.

So what is it?

My friend's ex-husband just added me as a friend. Uhhh...last time I checked we weren't friends. Our friendship was based only on the fact that he was married to my friend. Once they split up (and stopped communicating with each other), my interest in friendship with him was gone. Sure I chose a side, but what else was I to do? She and I have been friends since the 7th grade. He didn't show up until the 11th grade. My side was chosen a long time ago.

And it all boils down to is the fact that I hate social networking. I hate friend collectors. And I fail to see why having thousands of "friends" makes you any less of a socially awkward shut-in.

Or perhaps I'm being a little too harsh.